Scared
by auspizien
Summary: After the events of Whole Cake Island, Sanji finds himself back aboard the Sunny where he belongs with everyone greeting him with open arms. Everyone except for a certain swordsman that remains coldly indifferent to the cook's return; one night while Zoro is on watch Sanji decides to finally confront him about it.


"Oi, shitty moss." Sanji grouched – announcing his arrival in the crows nest as he ascended the final few steps – the action redundant as the man had no doubt heard him coming a while off. Heel of his shoe clacking loudly on the sturdy flooring as he eyed the swordsman standing in the centre of the room, not even bothering to look up upon the blond's arrival as Sanji continued, "Figured you might like something to tide you over the rest of your watch."

Sanji strode casually over to a nearby bench and placed the tray he had been holding down, a large bottle of sake poised next to a platter of freshly made mochi of varying flavours. The effort always lost on the green neanderthal, however Sanji couldn't help but remain steadfast in his standards of quality; as long as they didn't go to waste then the swordsman could shove them up his ass for all Sanji cared.

With the food served, Sanji allowed himself to pull out a fresh cigarette that he began lighting up as his gaze turned once more to the swordsman that was clearly making a point of ignoring him. A third flick had a flame fizzing into life as Sanji took a deep inhale, paper of the roll crackling pleasantly as the smoke was already making him feel less annoyed at the other man.

Pocketing his lighter and snagging the cigarette from between his lips he watched the firm lines running across the swordsman's upper body as he continued to hold his white katana with firm concentration. Single eye open and glaring the length of the blade as he was surely doing some form of meditation that he had learned over the two years he had spent training under Mihawk.

Resigning himself to being ignored, Sanji continued to puff at his cigarette while gazing at the other man and wondering how long it would take for Zoro's concentration to break. Not as long as he had originally thought, as a few minutes later the swordsman's arms were lowering and the blade was swivelled in an expert grip before being sheathed. A single, cold eye turning on Sanji as the permanent scowl that had been etched into the man's face since their reunion was ever present.

"What do you want, curly?"

Sanji gave a playful shrug and shake of his head, placing the cigarette between his lips as he raised both his hands innocently. A smirk quirking his mouth as the satisfaction of annoying the other man had been all he had really been looking for; heading towards the stairs as he might as well finish cleaning up the kitchen before heading to bed. Just before placing his foot on the first step he heard a disgruntled grumble come from somewhere behind him.

Glancing over his shoulder he found the swordsman exactly where he had been since the moment the blond had arrived, refusing to move despite the heavy glare he was directing Sanji's way. Having obviously clued in to the little game the cook had been playing and not too thrilled about it. A cheeky grin sliding onto Sanji's face as he jabbed, "Miss me?"

Zoro's face remained impassive as he continued to stare down his nose at the cook with a bored expression, "Hardly."

"Really?" Sanji intoned with a false aura of interest, turning away from the stairs and beginning to walk about the crows nest once more, only this time with Zoro's sight trained on him. "Cuz I heard you made quite the fuss when I left..."

"Who told you that?" Zoro grumbled sardonically, "The liar, or the thief?"

"Don't talk about Nami like that." Sanji defended hotly, immediately taking issue with the snide tone the swordsman had taken when referring to Nami's moniker. Zoro always managed to say normally innocent words in an unpleasant manner that made them seem sour in his mouth.

"You're right, my mistake." Zoro corrected with an unapologetic shrug, "The bitch."

"Oi!" Sanji snapped heatedly – closing the distance between them in mere moments – as his hand grabbed the swordsman's lapel and he jerked the man forward. A gust of smoke seethed from between Sanji's clenched teeth to swirl in the small distance between the two men as Zoro didn't even react beyond blinking slowly.

Zoro's unfeeling gaze glanced down at Sanji's grip with bored distaste before shifting up to meet Sanji's still scowling face. Head tilting to the side as he watched the cook with that same flat stare that had been his go to expression ever since he had come back from their two year absence. Not a hint of emotion flickering in the cold steel depths as he finally asked, "What are you doing here, cook?"

"Just wanted to check something." Sanji snarled with a huff, releasing the man with a revolted jerk of his hand as he tried to convey as much of his vexation towards the other man in the motion. Taking a full step back to reach up and steady the cigarette between his lips as he took a harsh drag on it.

"You done?" Zoro deadpanned.

"Yeah." Sanji snapped as he turned and stormed across the crows nest once more, "We're done."

Sanji honestly hadn't really known what he had been expecting when he had come up to see Zoro, but surely he had hoped for something beyond Zoro's typical cold behaviour. They hadn't seen each other since the mess in Dressrosa, and perhaps it had been the separation – or the ordeal with his family – but he had been hoping to come back to Zoro with something beyond distant acknowledgement.

"I think _I_ need this more than you." Sanji noted absently, keeping his tone light while snagging the top of the sake bottle and heading for the stairs. Keeping his gaze pinned firmly ahead of himself to keep Zoro from hopefully noticing how shaken he actually was. Swinging the bottle playfully in his grip as he made his way across the deck, past the galley, and towards the stern of the ship.

It was a little different from Merry, but taking a seat on the ground where he could get a proper view of the stars and the calm horizon as they sailed away made it almost feel like it. Distant memories of their intimate times back on Merry swirling through his mind as his gaze fell to the chaotic currents left in the water in Sunny's wake. Taking a hearty swig of the liquor to partially drown the pain in his chest, but mostly just to spite the other man, as he stared out on the horizon.

What had he been expecting?

Zoro had always been coldly indifferent to Sanji – and vice versa – but after everything that had just happened with Pudding on Whole Cake Island a small part of him had been hopeful. Of what, he still wasn't sure, but he had thought maybe something would have changed between them since their reunion; since that day he had seen the swordsman rise out of the sea on a shipwreck and later effectively cut all ties with Sanji.

A noise had Sanji glancing up to find the swordsman standing nearby, stance still rigidly proud but with an air of guilt hanging over him. Zoro was never the type to hang his head in shame, but after all they had been through it was easy to tell when the buffoon was attempting to be apologetic. Swords left behind in the crows nest, it seemed that the man was actually coming to Sanji unarmed in an attempt to appear sincere.

"Cook..." Zoro started gruffly.

Sanji held up a swift finger, tipping the bottle back as he began to make his best effort at drinking as much of the liquor as possible while keeping his hand held aloft. After about a minute Zoro's expression hardened into peevish annoyance as Sanji finally released the bottle with an audible pop and a sigh of relief. Nearly empty as Sanji turned his sights up to Zoro and twisted his hand around while lowering his index finger and raising his middle.

An indignant twitch flashed across the swordsman's face at the vulgar gesture before he was snatching up Sanji's shirt in an aggressive grip as he hauled the drunk blond to his feet. Snarling something unintelligible into his face as Sanji just grinned back eagerly, allowing the man to hold his full weight while sneering, "What's the matter, mosshead?"

"Why do you have be so..." Zoro trailed off in his agitation, scowl darkening before he huffed sharply and released the blond. Letting him fall in a dishevelled heap against the wall as he turned with a swish of his jacket and stomped his way across the deck, no doubt making back for the crows nest.

"Running away again?" Sanji taunted after the man, the words causing Zoro to stop in his tracks as a suddenly cold atmosphere began hanging between the two men. Remaining slumped against the wall as he watched how the full extent of his words seemed to affect the other man.

" _If you walk away then whatever this was is over!"_

Placing the nearly finished bottle aside, Sanji pushed himself to his feet as the memory was beginning to awaken hidden hatred and sorrow that he had long since been buried. Emotions clawing at his insides painfully as he took an aggressive stance while facing the swordsman's back, hands clenched furiously at his sides before growling, "Fight me."

"We'll wake the crew." Zoro murmured softly, still not even giving Sanji the courtesy of turning around to look at him, but Sanji could tell from the lines in the man's shoulders that he simply didn't want to. A pleased sneer spreading across his face as he knew he was one of the few people that could easily change his mind on that.

"Hmph." Sanji breathed out a sharp chuckle, finding none of this humorous but enjoying the fact that he knew the man so well that he knew exactly what to say to rile him. Feigning resignation as he mused, "I get it; scared to fight me without your swords."

On cue, Zoro was jerking around to gift Sanji with a dark scowl – Sanji having to refrain from grinning victoriously – as the swordsman growled, "I could beat your ass with one hand behind my back."

"What a coincidence!" Sanji crooned playfully, thoroughly enjoying how easy it was to manipulate the other man, "I kick your ass on a daily basis with _no_ hands."

All Sanji got as a response was an enraged snarl before Zoro was launching himself across the deck at the blond with an arm already extended towards him. Other arm rearing back violently with a clenched fist that was seemingly meant for Sanji's face as the blond quickly darted to the side, narrowly missing the punch as a black sheen caught the corner of Sanji's eye. Armament Haki coating both of the swordsman's arms as Sanji realized with a bit of surprise that Zoro was not messing around.

Recovering from his missed attack, Zoro was back on him in an instant as Sanji barely coated his own legs in Haki before they were in a full out brawl. Zoro blocking each of Sanji's kicks with carefully placed blocks from his forearms, before countering with dangerous swipes from his own hands. Movements still very much the same as to when he was holding his swords; Sanji found himself almost as nervous around the swordsman's bare arms as he was his katana.

A blow to his side had Sanji grunting painfully as he still wasn't used to Zoro's Armament protected strikes, stumbling for a moment before retaliating savagely. Dropping low to swipe the swordsman's legs as footwork had always been a weak spot for the other man. Missing the first leg, and just barely clipping the second, Zoro regained his stance instantly, but not before dropping his guard for only a moment.

It was more than enough for Sanji as he whipped around and lashed his Armament coated leg directly into the swordsman's gut. Sending him flying across the ship and smashing into the main mast with a shuddering collision, kick barely finished connecting before Sanji was chasing after him, intent on not giving him the opportunity to recover.

Left foot slamming onto the deck with enough force to splinter the floorboards beneath, he brought his right leg down in a vicious kick. Body twisting as he fully intended to put his foot directly through the other man's skull regardless of if he blocked it in time or not. Anger, frustration, and resentment broiled inside him and only fulled his rage as his leg connected with a deafening smack that sent shudders reverberating throughout the ship.

Sanji remained poised above the swordsman, wheezing harshly with his leg inches from Zoro's face as the other man remained slumped from where Sanji had kicked him earlier. All save for the single arm he had raised at the last moment to block Sanji's kick, the grimace on Zoro's face an obvious sign that he was just as affected by the clashing of their Haki's as Sanji was.

There was only a quiet moment while they recovered before Zoro's arm was twisting around and his hand enclosed around Sanji's ankle in a vice grip. A moment of panic causing Sanji's eyes to widen as he knew it was a grip he would be unlikely to break as Zoro sprang forward while flinging the blond as hard as he could onto the deck. Wood cracking under the force as splinters exploded up around him from the impact and Sanji could feel boards collapsing under him.

Laying in the imprint that his body had left on the deck, Zoro didn't even give him a second to recover before he was pouncing on top of the cook. A knee coming up to embed in Zoro's ribs had the swordsman grunting in pain as an almost childish grappling match ensued. Ending with Zoro managing to get one of Sanji's wrists pinned above his head as the other kept his hip pressed into the deck, Sanji opted for grinding his heel into swordsman's spine while the other attempted to kick him in the back of the head.

Sanji panted harshly underneath the heavy weight of the other man, alcohol flushing his skin even further as he acutely aware of how much contact there was between them. Zoro clearly noticing too as the aggressive grip to his hip faltered and slipped a little lower to grasp Sanji's thigh; a groan of irritation leaving Sanji before the other man even had the opportunity to hike his leg higher.

Reaching out to palm the oversized green gorrilla's face, he shoved him aside purposefully and made to get up. Zoro allowing himself to be moved as he turned on the blond with a confused frown forming on his brow; Sanji was happy to note it was at least an expression other than his normally stoic scowl for once. Pushing himself to his feet, Sanji idly dusted himself off before inspecting his rather crushed cigarette with dismay as he noted absently, "Always this with you."

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" Zoro bit out in aggravation, remaining sprawled on the deck with his clothes in just as much disarray from their fight as Sanji's. Jacket falling around his elbows to expose his upper body as he leaned back on an arm to gaze up at Sanji incredulously.

"Typical." Sanji scoffed with a roll of his eyes, pulling out a new cigarette and once more going about lighting it as he made an effort not to look at the other man. Lighter refusing to work as he kept flicking the flint only to be met with a few sparks and a pitiful hiss of a dying flame.

"Isn't this why you bothered me in the first place?" Zoro accused harshly, pushing himself to his feet in an aggravated huff as he began righting his jacket, "Coming and bothering me on my watch?"

"No." Sanji defended adamantly, finally getting the cursed smoke lit as his hands were still a little tense from their fight, shoving the lighter deep into his pocket as he took a heady drag. Keeping his gaze firmly fixed to the side as he was beginning to realize that he was talking himself into a corner and no longer wanted to be having this conversation with the man.

"Then what?!" Zoro balked in frustration.

Sanji fumbled for a few moments as he embarrassingly tried to come up with an excuse for his behaviour before barking indignantly, "I don't know!"

"You..." Zoro growled as Sanji's words only seemed to further exacerbate him as Zoro was clearly ready to storm off and forget about the whole conversation. Eye falling shut in his irritation as his shoulders heaved upwards in an annoyed sigh before falling low in exasperation.

"I just wanted to know why you didn't come to Totto Land." Sanji admitted, puffing on his cigarette in agitation before adding, "That's why I came up there."

"Does it matter?" Zoro grumbled in irritation, eye opening once more to look heavily at Sanji and the blond could easily see the exhaustion beginning to become reflected there. It stung as Sanji wondered just how little the swordsman actually cared about all of this compared to how torn up Sanji was.

"Yes." Sanji groused angrily.

"I knew you could handle it." Zoro shrugged the response off easily, but he refused to meet Sanji's gaze as he said it, and Sanji's earlier curiosity was back. Stalking towards Zoro with a few firm steps until he was only a foot away from the man he plucked the cigarette from his lips.

"Everyone thought I wasn't coming back." Sanji countered stubbornly, brows drawing into a glower as he stared down the other man sternly. Unable to discern what was going through the man's head as all he was privy to was the man's scarred eye and the tightened corner of his mouth, "You told Luffy that if it was my choice that you should all forget about me..."

Zoro remained silent.

"What the hell was that about, shithead?" Sanji prodded furiously, once again unsure of what he had expected from Zoro but certainly something more than a comrade that didn't care if he left. After all the time they had spent sailing together, the adventures they'd been on, and the times they had fought together; Sanji had hoped that him leaving would garner a better reaction than a shrug and acceptance. Hand coming up to shove at Zoro's shoulder lividly as he grunted, "Huh?"

"I..." Zoro conceded through gritted teeth, the swordsman's whole body had tensed up once more as it seemed having to talk about his feelings was not enjoyable to him. Sanji stilling as he watched Zoro intently while the man was clearly struggling internally to finish his sentence, eventually grumbling venomously, "was scared."

"Bullshit." Sanji barked, the inciting word leaving his lips before he had a chance to stop it.

Rage ignited across the swordsman's face in an instant, and he was swiftly turning on his heel and striding away from the blond. No doubt making for the crows nest as Sanji knew the behaviour was justified due to his reaction, but unable to stop himself from growing livid at how easily the man could be taunted into running away.

"Aha!" Sanji exclaimed triumphantly at Zoro's retreating figure, snatching the cigarette out of his mouth and giving a dramatic flourish with his hand, "And there he goes, the famous Roronoa Zoro; a frightened coward."

Zoro was back in an instant, looming over Sanji as the waves of Haki flowed off him in uncontrollable bursts. Armament coated arm raised above them as Sanji had barely brought his leg up into time to block the blow that had been intended to put Sanji through the floor. Cigarette falling to the wooden floorboards between them as the strike had caused him to bite straight through the filter.

"This is why I can't _stand_ you." Zoro bristled fiercely, shoulders still heaving as he panted furiously and his armament coated arms were still flexed tensely. Fists clenched in thinly restrained resentment as he stared down the cook with a darkness shadowing his still good eye.

"I say nothing, you get annoyed; I try to talk, you insult me." Zoro seethed, finally allowing an animalistic roar of frustration past his lips as he began to turn to leave once again, "I'm done with your games, cook."

"Just like you're done with us?"

" _It was never anything to begin with."_

"You never _wanted_ there to be an us!" Zoro rounded on Sanji furiously, for the first time showing genuine emotion across his face as he stalked towards the blond murderously. Hand darting out to grabbed a thick handful of Sanji's shirt and tie while dragging the shocked blond forward, "You're the one that _used_ me!"

"Wha-?" Sanji responded haltingly, the information Zoro currently barking at him the first he was ever hearing of it. The betrayed look on the man's face something Sanji had never seen before, as everything they had initially been fighting about was making less and less sense.

"Every night coming crawling into the crows nest, and then in the day pretending it never happened." Zoro continued with a frustrated shake of his arm, Sanji's body whip-lashing in the other man's hold as he still wasn't entirely sure what was going on, "Do you think I'm an idiot?! You think I didn't notice you sneaking off anytime we reached land to go find a bar, or some brothel?!"

Sanji's surprised gaze finally fell into a moue of guilt, head falling forward and shoulder's shrinking as he knew exactly what the man was referring to. Back then he had done a lot of things he hadn't been too proud of – Zoro had too – but their time apart over the past two years had changed that. Still not quite sure what all this had to do with everything as he countered dejectedly, "You did too."

"Hmph." Zoro snorted derisively, hand releasing Sanji with a harsh shove and a disgusted jerk of his hand as he retreated from the blond and growled, "Because I clearly didn't matter to you."

That was a lie.

Sanji desperately wanted to yell at the man that it wasn't true, tell him everything, but just like every other time he found the words dying in his throat as the truth was too hard to admit. All the pain and confusion he had had to face on his own while coming to the irrevocable conclusion that he had feelings for the giant lump of moss had been the hardest experience of his life; he wasn't nearly ready to admit it to the other man and deal with the fear of rejection.

"Why didn't you come?" Sanji asked quietly.

"What the fuck does that have to do with what were talking about, shit cook?" Zoro snapped irritably.

"Why didn't you come?!" Sanji repeated passionately, raising his head and meeting Zoro's stare with burning convicting as he glared the other man down. At first the swordsman was clearly caught off guard, but as time drew on conflicting emotions started writhing across the other man's face until he eventually looked away in self-aberration.

Sanji didn't know what he was expecting to get out the other man, but anything would be enough to begin giving himself closure on the whole matter. Even if it were painful words of rejection then at least he could begin putting himself back together and focus on the future and forget about everything that had happened between them before the New World.

"I was scared that if I came..." Zoro finally admitted harshly, saying the words almost as if he was livid at having to utter them aloud, shoulders hunched and fists clenched as it was clear that it was taking all of his willpower to get the words out. Sanji watching with undivided attention as the swordsman continued, "that I'd find exactly what I expected."

"Oh yeah?" Sanji breathed out a hollow laugh, devoid of humour, "And what was that?"

"You. Married." Zoro grunted with a shrug, still keeping his eyes on the ground as he seemed to refuse to make eye contact with the blond while making his admissions, "Happy."

"Well," Sanji began morosely, a hint of derision entering his tone as he remembered everything that had just recently taken place back in Totto Land, "if you had come you would know that the only place I'm happy is here on Sunny."

Silence rung out between them as Sanji was fully beginning to realize the extent to which he had been oblivious to what had been happening between him and Zoro. A calm evening breeze whistled across the deck, rustling the two men that stood across from each other; the collar of his shirt shuddering against his cheek as Zoro's cloak swirled around his legs.

"Is that what everything was all about?" Sanji prodded softly, alluding to what the man had mentioned earlier about the brothels and their lack of exclusivity to each other. At the time it had all seemed so trivial, "Why you ended everything?"

"Two years is a long time, cook..." Zoro murmured quietly, and Sanji felt the air rush out of his lungs as he was left to stand breathlessly in front of the swordsman. Choking back his fear of what Zoro might possibly mean as the man continued, "I didn't think you'd even remember after all that time, and when you did I realized I didn't want it to go back to the way it had been."

"Being your second choice was no longer good enough." Zoro brows drew together in a heavy scowl, his face once more returning to that familiar stoic glower that had been ever present since being reunited in Sabaody, "So, I figured it would be better just to forget about it altogether; focus on the New World."

"That wasn't what I wanted..." Sanji admitted softly, head ducked low as he finally was made privy to everything that had been going on inside the swordsman's head all this time. Relieved to know it wasn't disinterest that was keeping the man at bay, but rather something far more powerful; and hating himself for being the cause of all of it falling apart.

"You got a funny way of showing it, curly." Zoro's words with harshly bitten, but Sanji could tell their was a softness hiding just beneath that belied his tone. A mute gasp of relief touching the cook's lips as the swordsman's statement was all he need to hear to know that he had been forgiven; that it wasn't too late.

Keeping his head bowed, Sanji placed a hand behind his back as the other reached out to snag one of Zoro's that had been crossed over his chest moments before. It was a grandiose testament to just how calm and trusting the swordsman currently was towards Sanji to allow such a gesture, as the blond brought the hand close to himself. Zoro arching a brow, intrigued by Sanji's motives while the blond just allowed himself a soft smile as he leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to the back of the rough hand.

Calloused fingers jerking in Sanji's hold as Zoro was clearly surprised by the action before he retracted his hand swiftly, however his hostility did nothing to hide the bashful flush beginning to run up his neck as he purposefully turned his flustered gaze away from Sanji. Hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck in agitation while Sanji just continued to watch him as the raging sea of emotions in his chest had finally begun to subside and he was left revelling in all the minute details about the other man that he had come to love.

Reaching out a cautious hand, he hooked it behind the swordsman's neck – just grazing the other man's fingers as Zoro retracted his own hand in surprise – gently pulling the broader man forward as he leaned in. Lips meeting Zoro's partially parted ones for the first time in years as his eyes fell shut and was met with a relief that they were exactly as he remembered them.

Thin and pliant – chapped from days spent on the ocean – they parted to finally greet him in a kiss that he had longed for for what felt like an eternity. The pain, training, and torment of the past two years only making the wait seem longer as any last traces of doubt were swept away when Zoro's hand came up to tangle in Sanji's hair. Tousling the locks affectionately as he pulled the blond closer; the kiss conveying every last iota of the swordsman's own emotional toil from the past two years.

Kiss gradually slowing until eventually Sanji pulled back enough to gaze into the swordsman's remaining eye breathlessly, revelling in being able to be this close to the man once more without death threats being harshly spat between them. Swallowing thickly at the notion that after tonight this wasn't going to be the last time, and that he had many more to look forward to.

Stepping back with a light cough, feeling Zoro's hand fall away from its place in his hair as he floundered for a moment before trying somewhat boldly, "Need some help with watch?"

An incredulously brow was the only response he got before a smirk graced the swordsman's lips and he was shaking his head through a chuckle. Jerking his head invitingly towards the crows nest before turning and beginning to make his way in the direction of the main mast. Sanji took only a moment to watch Zoro's retreating figure in joyful disbelief before darting after him to catch up.

"So..." Sanji drawled out as he fell into step beside him, watching Zoro with a lazy smirk as an already apprehensive look was forming on the swordsman's face upon hearing the cook's playful tone, "were you jealous because you want to marry me?"

Rolling his eyes, Zoro placed his hand on the blond's head and ruffled his hair aggressively while pushing him away, "In your dreams, stupid cook."

~The End ~


End file.
